Closer
by Kuro49
Summary: TR Songfic . A story about the affairs, the reasons, and the real feelings the two of them shared. How can their love come from their heart when one of them doesn't even have one to begin with and the other was everyone's pleasure.


The song I used in this story is Closer by Nine Inch Nails. Some parts are rather sexual but no lemon XD I am staying clean… I still have my finger virginity… o.O

I don't own anything.

XXX

**Closer**

XXX

_You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you  
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you_

The small bedroom was suffocating with the smell of sex. The scent of the two of them was all over each other. The sweat was now cool against their bare skin.

One slowly sat up on the bed, the springs of the bed squeaked and creaked. His skin was rather tanned; he brushed a hand at the black curls that framed his face. Looking down he could see a red hair lying down, his eye still closed.

He laid a hand on the red head's chest. His hand gently caressed the pale skin; this motion caused the other to stir. The red head cracked open his eye lid a slit and peered at the other.

He groaned in response as the other called out his name. "Rabi?"

The other opened his eye fully; he stared at the older man that was sitting up as if urging him to continue.

"Are you alright?" He asked gently. Rabi gave a nod.

"Just a little tired…" His voice was rather raw from the previous events.

He put a hand on to his throat and rubbed it as if it would ease the rawness there. Tyki seeing that stood up and walked over to the near by table. He picked up a half full glass of water and brought it over to the tired red head.

"Here." Tyki gently said to Rabi.

Rabi boosted himself up with an elbow and caught hold of the glass.

He slowly drank it all up and handed the cup back to Tyki. Rabi lay back down on to his bed before groaning.

"My ass is sore." He stated with a frown.

Tyki chuckled in amusement before answering. "Want me to kiss it better?"

"We will probably end up having sex some more…" Rabi simply rolled his eyes, fully knowing that's how things will most likely end up.

Tyki laughed out loud. "I will be gentler on you next time."

Rabi nodded not really minding it all.

He told Rabi once:

_When my pleasure comes it comes in waves that__ even I can't control._

_I__ never would want to hurt you, but if I do I apologize now._

_I am sorry, Rabi._

Rabi knows the 'white side' of Tyki.

But Tyki Mikk was a Noah and Rabi also knew that clearly.

He wasn't the idiot he used to be, definitely not after his teacher's death.

Bookman died and left his position to his only apprentice. He was raised to be a Bookman and he will die as a Bookman, he will always remain at the side line and watch. He couldn't let him down.

They were all just ink on a page, it didn't matter. Rabi believed in it now.

_Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I've got no soul to tell  
Help me the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself_

He gently stood up; away from the thin blanket that once covered both their bodies. Picking up the carefully laid out clothes from the chair he slipped them on. Rabi just lay on the bed as the procedure happened, once again.

Rabi started to check off one of the many mental lists in his head.

The first thing to be put on is his white dress shirt, one by one the ivory buttons are slowly done up by his long thin fingers. Then it would be his underwear, followed by his black dress pants. His black vest would be pulled on, the three buttons done up also.

His black top hat would always be last as he uses his fingers as a comb to brush the curls aside.

He would smile at Rabi before disintegrating into his teases and flying away.

But this time the procedure changed, he finished putting all his clothes on, but he didn't leave. This made Rabi confused as he tilted his head to one side and stared at the Noah.

Tyki walked back to the bed and sat down at the edge. His back to Rabi and face staring straight out the window.

"I want to escape." He gently says.

Rabi now sat up. He crawled closer to the other and waited for him to speak and when Tyki didn't Rabi offered. "From who?"

"From me." Tyki answered.

Rabi looked at him and asked. "Why?"

Although he knew the reasons behind this attempted escape that will never work.

"You know." Tyki pointed out as he saw the glint of knowledge in Rabi's emerald eye.

"I am just entertaining you." Rabi stated the reason why he lied.

"Okay then." Tyki smiled. "The white side of me wants to escape the dark side of me. While the Noah in me is dying to come out and shed some blood."

"You know you can't escape yourself." Rabi pointed out.

"I know…" Tyki sighed lightly. "But I can't help but dream I can."

"Dreamers are always the ones who lose themselves to the devil." Rabi whispered.

"I already belong to the devil." Tyki answered amused.

"Then there is no point of ever trying to escape." Rabi answered evenly.

"Rabi you are so serious all the time." Tyki pouted. "You ruin my fun."

_I want to fuck you like an animal  
I want to feel you from the inside  
I want to fuck you like an animal_

_My whole existence is flawed  
You get me closer to god_

He turned back and captured Rabi's lips with his own.

Tyki quickly pushed the other down on the bed, once again. Tyki crawled between Rabi's legs and kneeled there as he stared down at the naked teen underneath him.

"Why did I even bother putting on my clothes?" Tyki mused to himself lightly as a smirk appeared on his lips; all past feelings of self pity was gone.

He stripped all the additional layers that weren't going to be needed.

"Because you were planning to leave." Rabi stated obviously, Tyki merely rolled his eyes before leaning down and kissing Rabi again.

Their lips met and they parted, leaving one breathless and the other smirking.

Tyki laid a finger on the red head's chest, slowly and tauntingly he scraped a white line down to his belly button. Rabi's rosy pink lips were a little bruise by the sheer force of Tyki's previous kisses. His lips were parted as his breathing came in slow pants.

"Tyki…" Rabi moaned out the other's name as a smirk appeared on Tyki's lips.

Seeing Rabi like this made Tyki's blood run cold with lust.

He wanted him and he wanted him now.

He attacked Rabi's already scarred neck with more nipping and sucking. He scrapped his teeth along Rabi's collar bone causing the red head to moan out loud. Tyki sucked on Rabi's neck, marking him as his once more.

"Tyki…" Rabi gasped out as Tyki bite the tender skin on his neck. He slightly frowns but all was forgotten as Tyki turn the pain into pleasure.

Tyki slides his tongue across the smooth surface of Rabi's skin, lapping at the marks and bruises he made. Pulling back he could only smirk at his creation.

Rabi lied there panting with saliva all over his neck and chest, not to mention the way his lips glow a dark pink. The sight only made Tyki's feelings of lust come stronger.

Tyki leaned down again and licked Rabi's jaw line. Rabi leaned in, only to have Tyki trail to his lips. Their tongue brushed against one another, the two groaned in unison.

Tyki leaned into Rabi's lips, only to have Rabi pushing back. The force of their kiss was definitely enough to cause bruising.

A string of saliva marked the two of them as they pulled apart.

Tyki's hand slowly slides down Rabi's chest it stopped right before reaching his pelvis bone. Tyki's tongue quickly followed as he started to suck at Rabi's hip. Rabi moaned and arched his back for Tyki to gain more access.

"May I?" Tyki asked, just a little breathless.

Rabi merely closed his eyes as Tyki laid a hand on his inner thigh.

_You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that__ it brings  
You can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything_

The motion of their bodies stopped quite a while ago. They were just resting and catching their breath.

The two of them lay side by side; one had his eyes closed while the other stared straight at the ceiling.

"Do you want to know why I fuck you?" Tyki asked as he brushed a bead of sweat away from his brow.

"You will tell me whenever you want to." Rabi answered as his breathing slowly returned to normal.

"And when do you think that will be?" Tyki grinned as he turned his head to stare at the other.

"Right now." Rabi said shortly, obviously knowing that Tyki was staring right at him.

"You really are a Bookman." Tyki observed.

"Took you long enough." Rabi answered evenly as his chest slowly calmed down.

"So do you want to know?" Tyki tilted his head to one side, looking very much like a child.

"If you want to tell me then you will tell me." Rabi looked at the other; the curly strands were stuck to his tan forehead with sweat.

"You are no fun." Tyki pouted lightly to himself, Rabi merely blinked.

"A Bookman's job is to not have fun." Rabi answered.

"You just ruined the mood." Tyki pointed out flatly.

"There was never any mood…" Rabi rolled his eyes.

"You are no fun." Tyki said again.

"You are supposed to be the pleasure, not me." Rabi said, clearly knowing Tyki's emotion.

Tyki's smile was gone as soon as Rabi finished his sentence.

_  
__Help me tear down my reason, help me its your sex I can smell  
Help me you make me perfect, help me become somebody else  
_

"I don't want to be pleasure." Tyki shook his head as his body shook lightly.

"But you are." Rabi point out. Tyki gave a dry laugh.

"That's why I am here." Tyki smiled lightly.

Rabi listened, knowing exactly what was going on in the Portuguese's mind.

"I am everyone's pleasure while you are **my **pleasure."

Tyki's emotion was pleasure.

He existed just so he can feel pleasure. He existed just so he can be everyone else's pleasures. Everyone always think about themselves first, if it isn't necessary no one cares about anything else. This is same with everyone Tyki encountered and it is still the same with Tyki himself. Everyone used him as their pleasure, but no one ever thought of Tyki's feelings.

What about him? What about his own pleasures? He deserved something, just like everyone else. It only made sense if Tyki was to have his pleasure while other took him as their pleasure.

Where was it?

Where was Tyki's pleasure?

If he were to be everyone else's pleasure, who was to be his?

Tyki's pleasure come in the form of a red headed Bookman whom was now lying on the bed twirling a strand of red between his long pale fingers.

The red headed Bookman nodded at Tyki's distresses.

"I want to become a normal human being." Tyki said.

"But what is a normal human being?" Rabi asked.

"Aren't you going to tell me, you are the Bookman after all." Tyki smiled lightly.

Rabi returned the smile with his own and explained. "Normal, how do I put this? Normal is different in everyone's eyes. Everyone's normal is actually themselves, so no one can ever put a standard on 'normal', because it has no boundaries."

"You may call me normal, but in return I can think of you as the definition of normal." Rabi explained further, not exactly sure whether Tyki totally understand or not.

"Everyone view themselves as the standard for normal but in return there can't be one standard line for what is really normal." Tyki said with a light smile.

"Exactly." Rabi nodded.

_I want to f__uck you like an animal  
I want to feel you from the inside  
I want to fuck you like an animal_

_My whole existence is flawed  
You get me closer to god_

The silence was draped across the room. Although it was suffocating, it was a gentle yet luring silence.

Tyki got up from the bed and slowly put back on the clothes he shed. The procedure repeated once again in Rabi's mind as he merely just sat there and watched.

"Rabi…" Tyki called out and caught the other's gaze.

"Yes?" Rabi answered flatly from the spot on his bed.

"Why are you so cold?" Tyki asked as he picked up his top hat from the floor.

"I am warm." Rabi asked with a raised eyebrow as he pointed at the blankets he had covering him.

"I don't mean that way," Tyki smiled at the straight forwardness of Rabi's interpretations. "I want to ask how come you are so emotionless?"

"I am not emotionless, I still have emotions. As a Bookman it doesn't require me to bring my emotions into my daily life. Emotions to my life will only complicate things." Rabi explained clearly.

Tyki could only accept what he is saying, after all Tyki is only using Rabi as a source of pleasure, there was no way to complain.

But there was still one thing on Tyki's mind that made him confuse.

"I don't understand." Tyki stared straight into his eye.

"… understand… what?" Rabi lazily answered.

"Why?" Tyki asked another question.

"Why what?" Rabi raised an eyebrow at all the questions.

"Why let me touch you, and caress you?" Tyki asked with confusion in his features.

Rabi stared at him as he knew Tyki was going to speak again.

"I am a Noah, I am sure you know." Tyki explained his confusion.

"So why let me of all people to fuck you?"

Rabi answered plainly. **"Because you like me."**

_Through every forest, above the trees  
Within my stomach, scraped off my knees  
I drink the honey inside your hive  
You are the reason I stay alive_

XXX

I feel bad for killing Panda. XP But it couldn't be helped… Rabi was so OCC in this one, please don't blame. This story is showing how Rabi would be when he is finally a Bookman, I made him so uncaring… -sigh- Anyways review?

Kuro


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